It's a little scary. There's this tiny little dude who depends on you for everything, and no matter what, you do whatever it takes to make them happy. Even at 2am when you're dead tired and he won't stop screaming.
Don't get me wrong, Marshall is usually really well behaved. He sleeps most of the day and even the night, usually going to bed around midnight and getting up between 4 and 5 am to eat and be changed. He'll then sleep till about 8-9am, depending on how tired he is.
But he seems to have a super cranky hour, which is anytime between 9pm and 1am. Last night was one of those nights. He just wouldn't stop fussing no matter what we did. We fed him, repeatedly. We changed him. We rocked him. We played with him. HE HATED US. It was awful, I just didn't know what to do and both Jay and I were so tired.
But I guess that's part of being a parent. Sometimes you just don't know what to do. I'm new to all of this! The first few days as a new mom were the most terrifying and surreal days of my life. The first time he cried in my arms, I almost wept and stared up at Tara, saying "I don't know what to do! What do I do?"
Today is one of those days where I just feel a little overwhelmed and a little weepy. I think it's the lack of sleep. Maybe hormones, too. And maybe it's also because we went shopping today and I'm still having a hard time finding clothes that both fit and are flattering. I know I've lost 30lbs already, but I'm still not totally back to my usual self. So my old clothes don't really fit, and my pregnancy clothes don't fit... so I'm kinda stuck. I got a new pair of jeans today, but trying on clothes while you're still not quite your old self yet is a little depressing.
Anyways, I'm gonna go sit in the living room and listen to Glee while Marshall rocks in his swing. He is the cutest thing, even when the devil horns come out. I love him to pieces and even when he drives me nuts, I wouldn't change it for the world. (Must keep repeating that when he's going crazy...)